Friday, April 01, 2011

What to write when you can't move

Literally. In case some of you don't know, I have a hereditary deficiency to breakdown uric acid in my body. So I break it down more slowly than others, which piles up because I excrete uric acid like any other person. So ultimately, the acid forms crystals inside my veins. Being the anti-petiks beings that our bodies are, these crystals are deemed "alien" and seen as a threat (wow, sounds like a movie I watched before). So anti-bodies cling on to these crystals and fight it off. The by-product of the battle is swelling. So when crystals form, more or less the veins swell. As you know with anything that swells, if you put pressure on it, it can hurt. I suffer this kind off pain. This thing more or less goes by the name of GOUT, and yes, I have in right now. *pain*

I'm no medical expert, so I'm not sure how accurate I explained the condition. But I just drew from my countless research and experiences of it. Right now, my right knee and right foot are the battlegrounds. Simply speaking, I cannot use my right leg right now. So here I am typing away.

Whenever I get an attack, I feel like everything I did to prevent it was for naught. Uric acid, you see, is a very normal substance in the body. Exercise too strenuously, you excrete it. Don't exercise, it just builds up. Anything with protein, uric acid is excreted. So basically, whatever I do, I build up the acid. I tried eating right, I tried exercising regularly. But every so often, I get an attack. It's terribly hard to try and maintain something when you don't know when it's going to appear. Like for instance, this time it started with a discomfort on my said knee. DISCOMFORT. I played frisbee last weekend and my body ached bad. I thought that was part of it. Next morning, voila, gone right leg motor skills. And by the way, the swelling stays for at least a week.

So because of this deficiency, I have missed meetings, meet ups with dear friends, and just walking outside. There is NO cure for this deficiency. But sometimes you have to roll with the punches. I have accepted this a long time ago. The longest interval between attacks for me was a year and two months. I was and still am proud of that achievement. I still plan on beating that record after this attack subsides. I just keep setting my goals farther, you know because I believe I can reach an interval of two years, or three years even. Life is never too heavy to hang up your gloves. There's always the next round. And when that bell rings, when whatever that's attacking you slows its momentum, you got to go for it! Don't let up, because you never know when that opportunity will arise again.

Whether it's a disease, a person, or a future unknown, everyone has something pulling them down. You going to give up? Not me because when this swelling subsides, when I hear the next round go DING! I'm coming in hard and I'm aiming far! And when I look beside me, I want to see you guys alongside me, pushing further and going farther, leaving some acid or whatever it is that's pulling you down behind.

So I have gout. It got me this round, there's always next round.

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